Let’s talk some more about #Salmoneus, who’s quite entertaining, but a really interesting character, the closer you look. His character is often associated with blindness, or lack of insight, his own, or other folks. In Eye of the Beholder, he stands with a cyclops who’s discriminated against because of his height. A contrast is made with the single-eye cyclops & the blindness of the country folk who can’t see past his appearance. In The Gauntlet, he sees the potential goodness of #Xena before anybody else. He tells #Hercules: “She’s not as evil as you think she is. She’s got some heart!” Hercules is skeptical: “You’re serious?” Later, Sal tells #Xena she should be teaming up with Hercules against their common foe. BTW, Sal even tells us #Xena’s scent, in Unchained Heart: “Hyacinth & cinnamon”.
So his nose is perceptive, too! He does a number of eps related to blindness. In season 3’s Lost City, he’s blinded by a type of lotus leaf, & the same is true in All That Glitters. That saying, about gold, is also about not judging the worth of something by its appearance.
I used All That Glitters as an important source for my story, because I believe he meets his future wife on this show. Sal, a former toga salesman, shows off his latest custom-made toga in gaudy colors, & Herc responds: “Are you color-blind?”
Sal & Herc visit King Midas to see his new gambling casino, The Golden Touch. It turns out, the king lost his golden touch, & works as a greeter. He lost control of his kingdom to a couple of venture capitalist sharks, & now they’re running it into the ground, with predatory lenders & gambling destroying its economy. At 1st, Sal is blinded by gold: he’s impressed they’re making money hand over fist, however unethical. The casino’s predatory queen, Voluptua (played with relish by Jennifer Ward-Lealand) catches Sal’s eye with her dress & business sense: “What I could do with a partner like her!” Later, Sal is approached by Hispides, a bearded lady. If you’re wondering what the deal with that is, the casino has a distinct circus atmosphere, with flame throwers, trapeze artists, etc.
I suspect the reason has to do with an apocryphal phrase attributed to P.T. Barnum: “There’s a sucker born every minute.” Barnum introduced the bearded lady at his circuses, & they were mostly the real thing. Bearded ladies have a genetic trait that is distinct from intersex or transgender people. Hispides has a mustache & a beard, & approaches Sal with what sounds like a pick-up line: “I like your toga.” Given the established fact of his toga’s garishness, Sal definitely interprets this as a come-on, & focuses on his dice.
She tries to approach Sal several times, after removing some of her facial hair, but he’s brushes her off each time. The action comes to a head when Hercules desperately needs a knife to cut the rope trapping King Midas & his daughter. Sal tries to find one.
Turns out, Hispides has a knife, presumably the one she’s been shaving with. Now coyly filing her nails with it, she agrees to sell it to Sal for a fair price. Sal agrees, & Herc is able to save the day. The kingdom gets its native economy restored, & the casino is shut down to be sold for parts. Hispides now corners Sal once & for all, her face totally shaven. Sal is stunned with her fetching appearance (in his eyes). “Oh, you like it?” she asks. She quickly shifts the topic to what she’s been trying to talk to him about.
She wants his help to buy the casino parts cheap, & resell them at a marked up price. Suddenly, she’s even more beautiful to Sal, & they fall deep into discussion, as Sal begins to see the benefits of delayed gratification as an economic principal.
My guess is that Hispides’ whole agenda throughout the ep was to size up the casino as a potential opportunity. She probably realized it was an unsustainable business model, & posed as the bearded lady so she could get an inside look. She spotted Sal, game recognized game, & it was business at 1st sight! For her, at least. She was willing to blow her cover to get his attention, & saw through his silliness & found something more substantial. I don’t think it was necessarily love at 1st sight, since Sal would go on for several more seasons as a satyr on the make. But in my alt-universe, she & Sal hook up again in the middle of season 6 of #HerculesTheLegendaryJourneys with an arc of their own, as they attempt one business venture after another, each crazier than the last, until they find their pot of gold, metaphorically speaking, that is, culminating in a clip-show wedding ep of legendary proportions.
I like them as a couple because she’s well-suited for him, & is equally attractive to his non-satyr side, & I believe she’ll strengthen that quality over time. Plus she’s the type of gal that he’s qualified to actually make her dreams come true: he’s the salesman that can bring her schemes to life.